Just An Old Guy Doing Old Guy Things

Kinda like...

 I'm not sure how it happened that I'm a morning person. As far as I can tell, I'm the only one in my family. While everyone else is sleeping the day away until, I dunno, seven, I've already slopped the livestock (our two cavaliers and the little green bird), read the entire Internet, shit-showered-and-shaved (as my old man used to say), and mapped out my day. 

"Retirement" hasn't changed me in this regard, at least not yet. If the hours shift in one direction or another, my morning routine is a groove worn into my brain over decades. 

Dogs, coffee, internet. Check, check, check. 

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"We love Gay beer over here!

We never tire of the culture war here in America. Is this true elsewhere? Do people in, I dunno, Canada, or Japan, or Australia lose their shit over Gay baked goods and queer beer? 

Listen, I like to shake my fist at the clouds as much as any other old guy, but I just can't muster up the bile like I used to. 

If you don't wanna design my website, or bake my Big Fat Gay Wedding Cake, I'll live, even if you're business doesn't.  I truly couldn't care less if you wanna shoot up those eight cases of beer you just dropped $145 dollars on. Yeeee-Haaaa, mutherfuckers.

More alarming to me is the sharp rise of fascism in this country and around the world. Here in Florida, the entire educational system is being dismantled by Ron Desantis and his goons. I just saw this morning a jaw dropping report on the number of books that have been banned in Florida schools and libraries in 2022. And, get this: 

More than half of the objections were raised by the same two people: Bruce Friedman, the founder of the Florida chapter of the activist group No Left Turn in Education, and Vicki Baggett. 

Friedman reportedly got titles from an internet database and photocopied thousands of objections with vague complaints like “Protect Children!” and “Damaged Souls!.” Baggett submitted hundreds of complaints of “indoctrination” and apparently copied from book reviews on BookLooks.org, a book challenging group founded by a member of Moms for Liberty.

Well, well, well, whatayaknow.  The Assholes With Casseroles Moms For Liberty are some righteous, busy girls. I'll admit though, this made me laugh. 

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It's been a busy week. I'm filling the void left by the endless hours of monotony and toil that was my former career by exploring, shall we say, senior engagement activities. 

I'm embarrassed to admit I've become a cliche. I'm doing all of the things newly retired people do. Even more embarrassing is that I'm enjoying the fuck out of it. 

Yesterday I signed up for Tai Chi & Qigong classes with Sifu Dimitri Mougdis, founder of the Internal Arts Institute where he's been teaching the Yang Family Lineage Tai Chi that's been handed down through the generations since the 1800's. 

I've been interested in Tai Chi for years, and just never carved out the time. Back in the day, in high school, I had been the first kid in our school to take up Tae Kwon Do. I eventually earned my black belt, competed in some tournaments. I wasn't half bad, I won a few trophies, but in the end I really wasn't into sparring. What appealed to me was the stretching, the meditative aspect of it. I loved learning the elaborate forms, the dance-like steps one must master to graduate to the next color belt.

A very recent photo of not-me.

There was a time I could take an apple off your crown with a back spin kick and never muss a single hair on your pretty little head. There was a time I knew with certainty I could take down three strong guys without breaking a sweat. There was a time, and not so long ago, sonny, when I could disarm you. 

All gone now, lost to the hubris of youth and the slow thickening that comes with age. The body just can't do those things anymore. The bad knee, the creeping aches and pains won't take the impact. But Tai Chi isn't an impact sport, it's a meditation. It's the "art" in the "martial." 

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Getting ready for Pan Gu Qigong.

I found the studio tucked into the corner of a shabby strip mall off Highway 1. (This isn't surprising. In Florida, a lot of the good stuff can be found in shabby strip malls off Highway 1. Don't be a hater.) On the screen door was a sign that said, "Enter Quietly: Class In Progress." 

I kicked open the door with a snap kick and screamed "HELLOOOOO, is this the Qigong School?"  

I opened the door and stepped in quiet as a mouse. There were about a dozen people milling around, casual dress, shorts, sneakers. It was a large space, with markings on the floor and vague, karate-esque flags and emblems on the walls. The floor had been paneled in wood, giving the place an old dance studio feel. There was an old, over stuffed sofa near the door. I took a seat to watch. 

The students were mostly my age or older, with a couple of younger people. I met Kathy, who explained she'd been doing Tai Chi for decades, and started with this school after moving to Florida seven years ago. Tai Chi is an important part of her life, she said, and she had done her research. Several other people spoke to me before the class started, all of them long-timers. 

Dimitri, the Sufi and founder of the school told me about the school, his "lineage" in Tai Chi and Qigong. There was just a friendly, relaxed vibe to the place. I signed up on the spot. I start tomorrow. 

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I'll just point out that I've also been trying to get in touch with this Yoga studio I'm interested in. I've shown up once to their locked door, and called twice. They haven't bothered to call me back. Yoga people are snobs. 

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Yesterday I began the process of enrolling for Obamacare. On the advice of my attorney, my HR friend (now retired, natch), I waited until the first of the month to quit the job. By some peculiar alignment of the stars, three things occurred on the day I retired: It was Friday, it was the end of the pay period and it was the first day of the new month. Tidy. I saw it as a sign. 

Anyway, this meant that my former employer is paying for my health insurance this month (thanks boss!), and I have some time to pick and choose a new plan. 

Srsly, fuck these people.

It's not my first time at the Obamacare Rodeo, lulz no, and I expected it to be more complicated. Happy surprise, I was encouraged by how much simpler and straightforward the interface has become. So far the process has been pretty easy and I'm finding a wide range of coverage options and price ranges. And because I qualify for the subsidy, it's not even going to cost crazy much in premiums and deductibles each month. (Thanks Obama!)

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Today we're off to Lake Worth to take care of some things with one of Ward's properties there. There's a deli down the street from the condo that makes the most amazing tuna salad, and we'll probably hit the outlet malls in West Palm Beach on our way back. I need some decent shoes, these old Sketchers have gone to shit. 

Did I mention I'm starting piano lessons on Monday?