Retired? Tell no one.

"HI...!!!"

Filed under “Lessons Learned,” but if you’re lucky enough to be able to retire, do yourself a favor and do it quietly. The minute word is out that you’re now a free agent, the calls start coming in. They’re disguised as congratulatory messages, but in fact they are asks. 

Would you be interested in joining this committee? Could you write this letter to the editor in support of our cause? Can you do a presentation on this topic the 12th? Will you help staff our booth at this event next Saturday? We’re looking for new members for our book club. Are you free for lunch next Tuesday? 

Suddenly, since dropping out of the rat race a month or so ago, the world seems filled with active, engaged, committed retirees, all of whom have apparently taken on the task of holding this world together in their golden years. 

I need a minute...

I admire them, truly I do. But tbh, all I want to do is show up for my Tai Chi class and then take a nap. 

How is it possible that I've not only embraced being "retired," but being "old." I like my quiet mornings and (the teeth being what they are) my soft foods. I like my preplanned, low-impact activities aimed at keeping me mentally and physically engaged with the world around me. And yes, I like my afternoon cookie and my nap, thank you very much.

Can afternoon Bingo be far behind? And really, would that be so bad? 

Look, I appreciate that y'all are trying to keep me alert and engaged and responsive semi-conscious. And I get that the merry-go-round keeps spinning somehow, even though I've stepped off. But that's the point: 

I stepped off.

Great. Where to...?