The Word of The Day is "Dysthymic"

Do you know what "Dysthymic" is? Dysthymia, for those of you too lazy to click through (not judging), is basically persistent low-level depression: 

"Dysthymic disorder is a smoldering mood disturbance characterized by a long duration (at least two years in adults) as well as transient periods of normal mood. The disorder is fairly common in the US general population (3–6%) as well as in primary care (7%) and mental health settings (up to one-third of psychiatric outpatients)."

That's me, baby: Smoldering! 

Look, I'm no psychiatrist,   and also not a doctor, nor any kind of trained therapist, nor health worker of any kind and am not qualified to make any diagnoses of anyone, including and most significantly to myself    but this hasn't stopped me from determining with complete and utter certainty that I, myself, am "dysthymic." 

There, you see? It's not so bad. There's a name for it. It's a thing, a whatchamacallit, a diagnosis. Dr. Dumbblog has spoken, no second opinion needed. 

Dysthymic, in my case, is meeting a friend for lunch on a perfectly lovely day at a charming little cafe, and then sitting outside in my car for ten minutes rearranging my RBF into it's "Happy to see you" template. 

(Mini-Rant: I'm not sure why I bother with this, since no one actually uses their face anymore. Happy? Sad? Surprised? In this age of Botox and Ozempic it can be hard to tell the difference. Faces these days don't so much change expression, as they do shape.) 

Anyway, there are theories about the causes and treatments and signs of, etcetera and etcetera, but tbh I've never thought of myself as "depressed." Just a tad more... cynical realistic than the rest of y'all. Doesn't mean I'm depressed. 

 Of course not, says Dr. Dumbblog. 

Look, maybe it's this crazy world we live in, but I have fewer urges to leave my house these days. Is that agoraphobia? Paranaia? Or simple pragmatism? 

Yes, yes and yes, concurs Dr. Dumbblog. 

Is it my attachment disorder that makes me ghost people, or my social anxiety? Is it my ADHD that prevents me from taking an active interest in other peoples lives, or simple narcissism?  

Maybe it's time to just admit that I've been through some things these last three years and I feel bruised and I really just want to find my safe space and write it all down and rest for awhile. 

Anyway, it was actually great seeing my friend and we had a perfectly lovely lunch.